How to Start Reading to Your Child

1. Start Early

Remember: the sooner, the better, the easier. It is easy to form habits in very young children because you make the rules. Once they grow up, and start seeking independence; it gets more challenging. You can start even when they are in womb. Trust me, many people do it.

2. Read Yourself

My question is do you read? Personally, I read a lot while my husband reads zilch, but he still reads to our son. So, if you are trying to inculcate that habit in your child, chances are you are a reader yourself or at least you understand the value of doing so. So, be the role model for your child. Let him see you read. If nothing else, read children's books. You won’t believe how much you can learn from them, plus they are gorgeous.

3. Set the Mood

It is important to create an environment that encourages reading. Good books and opportunities to read are two important parts of setting the mood. If you want a habit to grow, you need to curb some of the other things like screen time (in the form of TV and tablets). Too much of screen time is not good for kids. Here is an excellent article on the subject.

4. Good Books (appropriate size and content)

If the kids are very young, say 0-1.5 years old, get them bright board books with minimum words. Books on Animals, Trucks, Construction vehicles or everyday objects usually work very well for that age group. Choose a size that they can handle easily like mini board books. Also, avoid paperbacks for very young kids. Board books are available in various sizes - from mini to lap size.

In this day and age, there is no dearth of good literature for young kids. There are several foreign and Indian authors and publishers for children’s books. The subjects are also exhaustive. You can also pick books on subjects that they are curious about or just plain entertaining stories. Besides, if you are confused, many people are writing about children’s books across the internet. You just have to look.

5. Movie to Books

There are books which have been turned into movies like the Gruffalo, the Gruffalo’sChild and the Room on the Broom. We read the books first and then watched the movies but you can do the other way round. There are books for ‘Finding Nemo’ or ‘The Jungle Book’ too, besides many others.

6. Bedtime Routines

It is easier to make reading part of their bedtime routine because when they settle for night, kids usually want to listen to stories. Moreover, they are eager to do anything as long as they don’t have to sleep right away. I think one can start with familiar characters or subjects from animated movies which the child identifies, and then move on to others gradually.

7. Never make it a chore

Don’t make it another 'thing-to-do' in the list. It will put them off, especially if they are older. When my son was 1-1.5 year old, we did not have a fixed time to read. Like other kids, he would keep fiddling with stuff around the house; and I would just sit and read his books aloud. At that age, they want to do things you are doing. So, he would come and sit, and take the book from me. And now we read 5 books every day on an average.  

8. Give it importance

Many people don't think too highly of reading to kids. It is not just story-time, believe me. I already wrote why you should Read Aloud to your kids in my previous post. Take it seriously. 

You may also want to see: 

Why you should Read Aloud to your Child
5 Children's Fiction Titles We Love

Image source: Google

Book Recommendation: 10 Takeaways from 'Raising Boys'

Taking the discussion forward from my last post on this wonderful Parenting book called‘Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids’ by Laura Markham; in this post, I would like to offer glimpses of another recommended read called ‘Raising Boys: Why Boys Are Different – and How to Help Them Become Happy and Well-Balanced Men’ by Steve Biddulph.

I chanced upon this article several months ago, which eventually led me to look up resources for ‘raising boys’. Well, I completely look down on gender stereotyping [incidentally, that was the subject of my first post here] but it is also true that boys and girls are wired differently [ok, so it is debatable but, I would lean a little on this assumption because of general observation about girls and boys], and when we attempt to understand those differences, we help our children thrive better. You know, as women when we are raising girls, atleast we have our own experiences to fall back on; but when we are raising boys, many times we find ourselves in a quagmire.

Please click here to read the complete post.

Image source: Amazon

Book Recommendation: 10 Takeaways from 'Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids'

I just finished reading this wonderful book called ‘Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: HowTo Stop Yelling and Start Connecting’ by Dr. Laura Markham. That does not mean I yell. OK, sometimes I do. But the reason I like reading these books is that I don’t want my inadequacies to influence my child’s life.

Books cannot teach you how to raise a child, but they can certainly offer rational and inspiring insights to become a better parent, and therefore a better person.

This book essentially believes in the simple philosophy that kids are people too, and they deserve empathy, respect and connection. See, on the face of it, we all agree with this philosophy but when we are really having a tough time, we get caught up in ‘trying to discipline’ or ‘teaching the right thing’ or such trappings of being a parent. 

Please click here to read the complete post.

Image source: Amazon

Book Review: Who Do You Think You're Kidding? by Lina Ashar

Title: Who Do You Think You're Kidding?

Author: Lina Ashar

Publisher: Random House India

Pages: 304

Price: Rs 299

Genre: Non Fiction / Parenting

Rating: 10/10

Format: Paperback

‘Who do you think you’re Kidding?’ happened to me at the right time. I am a mother to an 18 month old toddler and almost-obsessed about creating right environment and providing enough opportunities to our son. Learning, education, parenting techniques, discipline, etc., are the buzz words that rule my thoughts and rock my world these days. Every parent would agree that parenting in this day and age is far more challenging than it was for the previous generation.

I am a book person. When I seek knowledge beyond the scope of Google, I pick up a book. I feel there is a dearth of good parenting books in India. There are several books from foreign authors but we need books that address issues and concerns specific to our country.

In ‘Who do you think you’re Kidding?’, the author, Lina Ashar, enunciates several concerns and challenges of new age parenting and offers solutions from her experience as an educationist and a mother. Children today have to deal with excess of everything – exposure to various media, information, competition, consumerism, to name a few. They need support and guidance from their parents to deal with them. And for that, parents themselves need to break out of their traditional approach to parenting and move with the times.

Here are a few takeaways from the book:

• The kids of today are being bombarded with information through TV, Internet, Radio or Outdoor. There is no getting away. With technology influencing every facet of life and education, a child cannot live in a vacuum. It is imperative to teach children to use technology with prudence and responsibility.
• It is important to develop a child’s self-esteem, which in turn depends on the kind of messages they receive from others about themselves, especially parents.
• Intense competition is taking over the joys of childhood. Children should not be made to bear the burden of their parents’ unfulfilled ambitions. They should be allowed to choose their own path with support and encouragement.
• A parent or teacher should incorporate a child’s interest area to make learning interesting and fun.
• Whatever be our parenting styles, we should be aware / conscious about its implications on our child.
• Role of a father or a mother in the life of a son or / and a daughter; and how we as a father or a mother can improve our relationship with our child. The book also cautions about the pitfalls of gender stereotyping.
• Understanding the differences in raising a son vis-à-vis raising a daughter equips you in helping them realise their potential and encouraging them to try different things. It is not the same as gender stereotyping.

Many more such issues as challenges of early years, the beginning of learning, left brain vs. right brain, transition years (tweens and teens), exam anxiety, career choices, etc, etc. have been packed into 300 pages.

This paragraph (quoted from the book) best defines what the author attempts to achieve:

"Increasing levels of competition, reducing paradigms of space and time, evolving sources of information and entertainment, changing moral, social, and religious values is leaving us with an unknown future. The dilemma that every parent and teacher faces today – ‘How do I use the tools I have to prepare children for a future that I don’t know anything about? How do I prepare them to resolve issues that have not yet risen? What is parenting in this age of digital revolution and globalization?' These are the questions I seek to answer in this book."

There are no hi-fi fundas or tangential jargons in this easy-to-read book. Every parent will find resonance of their concerns in this book. The book is peppered with witty yet relevant illustrations to support the points, and very relatable examples.

A few words of wisdom from the author (quoted from the book):

“The advice I give parents is to keep opening windows of opportunities for their children – sport, musical instruments, theatre, dance, everything – and allowing them to decide what they like and want to pursue.”

It is certainly a must-read book for new age parents!

Here’s an interview of the author which will give you more perspective on the book.

Review Book courtesy: Random House India

Image Source: Random House India

Book Review: We Need To Talk About Kevin by Lionel Shriver

Title: We Need To Talk About Kevin 

Author: Lionel Shriver
Publisher: Serpent’s Tail
Pages: 477
Format: Paperback

Genre: Fiction
Rating: 10/10

Thought provoking, nuanced, ambiguous, horrific, dark, multi-layered, disturbing, unputdownable, engrossing, terrifying, even haunting – these are some of the words which popped into my mind while reading this extraordinary book. I often forgot that it was a work of fiction but it could have easily been a real story.

In ‘We Need to Talk about Kevin’ by Lionel Shriver, the story unfolds through a series of letters by Eva Khatchadourian addressed to her husband, Franklin. Through her candid letters, Eva tries to pursue the possible reasons that eventually led her first born Kevin to murder seven of his fellow high school students, a cafeteria worker and a teacher, three days short of his sixteenth birthday. She ruminates, evaluates, examines several incidents, feelings and experiences from before Kevin was born leading up to the present context (two years after the unfortunate incident).

In the beginning, she is taken in by the idea of having a child “for a change” but eventually when she finds that she was pregnant she did not like the idea any longer. Pregnancy felt intrusive in her personal space. Even after the baby was born, she failed to feel the connect with her newborn. She detested the changes it brought to her body and to their lives. In her letters, she candidly admits to her faults and her failings as a mother, in order to single out the reasons that eventually led Kevin to commit the unthinkable. 

She confesses to being a bad mother. When little Kevin tells her that she did not want him. In response, Eva tells Kevin that he would not want himself. All in the guise of being factual. She was also envious about Franklin's attention for the baby. The way baby responded to him and he behaved with the baby. 

She felt early on that Kevin was not an ordinary child. There was something odd about him. He was evil by birth. But she forever struggles to convince Franklin about this because Kevin is always the regular, loving, enthusiastic child in front of him. Eva believed that Kevin was a scheming, shrewed boy, not a little innocent child. The way Kevin behaves in front of Eva is almost eerie but Franklin always laughs off all such incidents. He might have been even unreasonable in convincing himself that there could not be anything wrong with his child. Eva goes up to the extent of having a second child Celia to prove (even to herself) that Kevin was certainly different and her own emotions as a mother were quite alright for the second child. A lot of times, Eva seemed even scared of Kevin.

Eva comes across as cold, proud and also vulnerable at times, but still Eva and Franklin could be any regular couple and that is what terrifies the most. This could happen to anybody!

The story telling and characterization are probably one of the best that I have ever read. This book is in the league of classics. A must-read if you are also a parent! It is the kind of book that stays with you long after you have finished it. You cannot stop thinking about it. 

It is a difficult book to read but always engaging, never slow. I cannot recommend it enough!

Image source: http://bookdepository.com

Book Recommendations: Books on baby development and child care

Market is flooded with child care books and like in everything else, the internet comes handy in selecting just the right one for reference. I would also suggest discussing with fellow mothers. It always helps to get recommendations from others in the same boat. And at the end of the day, follow your instincts.

What to Expect: the First Year by Heidi Murkoff (with Sharon Mazel) – This book is only for the first year of the baby, so it addresses all the issues which you might have during the first year, and at 800 pages is pretty exhaustive in exclusively addressing the first year of a baby’s development and care.

It is divided into 4 Parts:

Part 1. The First Year – This gives you month by month account of a child’s development, what to expect each month and various issues one might face, for example, feeding issues, colic, baby necessities, child-proofing, etc.

Part 2. Of Special Concern – This chapter deals with concerns like baby’s health in changing weather, planning for travel, when baby is sick, most common health problems, first aid do’s and don’t’s, special needs baby, adopted baby, etc.

Part 3. For the Family – Concerns of a new mother, notes for father, when you have an older child at home

Part 4. Ready Reference – It contains baby’s first recipes across months according to his development, Common home remedies and Common childhood infections.

This book is pretty detailed and extremely useful for the first year, but it will be almost redundant after that.

Dr. Spock’s Baby and Child Care – Another favourite with new parents, this book will be handy till the time your child is 18 years. It is divided into 6 sections:

Section 1. Your Child, Age by Age: It covers all aspects from before your child is born till the time he is eighteen years of age

Section 2. Feeding and Nutrition: From Breastfeeding to starting solid foods and addressing eating disorders; the chapter focuses on the food-related issues and nutrition.

Section 3.  Raising Mentally Healthy Children: Emotional needs, balancing children with work, discipline, sexuality, stresses – are some of the issues addressed in this chapter

Section 4. Common Developmental and Behavioural Challenges: Sibling rivalry to annoying habits, toilet training to therapies – this chapter focuses on the behavioural challenges in children and how to address them

Section 5. Learning and School: This chapter covers the areas related to school, from starting to various problems faced by school going children.

Section 6. Health and Safety: General medical issues, immunizations, overall health and common childhood illnesses; are part of this chapter

Of course, since this book has a wider scope, diverse topics have been touched upon. It has been a good reference book so far.

Raising Boys: Why Boys Are Different – How to Help Them Become Happy and Well-Balanced Men – Let’s face it, girls and boys are different, their inherent natures and tendencies are usually different. A mother, most of the time, is the primary care giver for children. With girls, we have our own experiences to fall back on a lot of times but it is a little different with boys. If you have observed, girls are usually more talkative and like to play with toys, while for boys ‘action speaks louder then words’. They need a lot of physical activities to release their energy. We end up getting frustrated with this inherent need of boys.

This book at 200 odd pages, attempts to help us understand boys, so that we help them develop into happy individuals. It covers the three stages of boyhood, the role of dads, mothers and sons, developing a healthy sexuality, sports, etc. It is a great book. (There is another book Raising Girls too but I have not read it, so would not be able to comment).

By the way, since I am at it, I would also recommend this article: Raising Boys - A dad's parenting advice for moms.

All these books are good reference books but every child is unique and a mother must follow her instincts to decide what is best for her child. The books will only act as guides to help you take informed decision. They are generic. Only you know what is best for your child or what your goals are.

Images source: flipkart.com

Bitter Chocolate by Pinki Virani

Two weeks back, I went to Crossword to pick some books. I spent about an hour or so but could not find anything good. Then suddenly I chanced upon this book called “Bitter Chocolate” by Pinki Virani. The book was about “Child Sexual Abuse in India”. I skimmed through the book, and it came across as an interesting book that dwelt on the horrors of Child Sexual Abuse, while discussing the myriad of cases which have been registered and the relevant laws, the revamping of regulations required and so on.



Perhaps it happened for the first time that I bought the book and immediately started reading it, and finished it in 3 days. It was a well-written but deeply disturbing experience. There are about hundred cases which get discussed and one is worse than the other.


There are few observations about the book.


• The book deals with a controversial topic, but not even once does it become sleazy. It only evokes hatred for the people who do it. Pinki Virani, who has been a journalist for several years, has handled the topic very sensitively.


• It is shocking to know that Sexual Abuse has happened to children as young as 3 months also, and it has nothing to do with gender of the child as well. In fact, it has been reported that sexual abuse of little boys has been on the rise and apparently, Goa, Kovalam and Mumbai are hotspots for foreign tourists for this trade.


• It is also shocking to know how wide-spread this crime is in the society, regardless of the social strata the kids belong to, their gender or their age.


• It wakes you up to the fact the child today is definitely not safe anywhere. You need to keep your eyes and ears open all the time to the tell-tale signs, trust your child and invoke trust in her / him so that they open up to you for whatever they are going through


• It is also disturbing to note that even parents don’t pay much heed to this and feel that kids will not remember this when they grow up or think about the impact it can have on their stable / perfect lives. But the child going through any kind of abuse is scarred for life, and it definitely shows up in any form in their lives. In fact, it has been pointed out that several abusers have themselves been abused as a child. But that of course, is not justification for such heinous act.


• Pinki Virani also points out the legal angle to this. What the child goes through when he / she does come forward to give a statement – our courts are unfriendly to the child, the kid can be intimidated by the abusers and his slew of lawyers, the kid is made to repeat the details of his abuse over and over again


• The book has captured a beautiful yet touching poem by a 12 year old victim:


I asked you for help, and you told me you would


If I told you the things he did to me.


You asked me to trust you, and you made me


Repeat them to fourteen different strangers


I asked you for help and you gave me


A doctor with cold hands


Who spread my legs and stared at me


Just like my father.


I asked you for protection


And you gave me a social worker.


Do you know what it is like


I have more social workers than friends?


I asked you for help


And you forced my mother to choose between us.


She chose him, of course.


She was scared, she had a lot to lose.


I had a lot to lose too.


The difference is, you never told me how much.


I asked you to put an end to the abuse


You put an end to my whole family.


You took away my nights of hell


And gave me days of hell instead.


You have changed my private nightmare


Into a very public one.


This book is for everyone, and most importantly for a parent. We cannot close our eyes to what is happening all around us, no matter how disturbing. I did not know there was a play too on this.